Teen Stress

As a father of two, I can attest that a typical teenager leads a busy life these days. A full day of classes, a good three hours of homework, after-school sports or other extra-curricular activity, SAT prep, driver's license practice, etc., etc., etc. A recent study by the American Psychological Association on stress in America found that teens recorded higher stress levels (5.8 on a scale of 1-10) than adults (5.1, on that same scale). About a third of teen respondents felt overhwhelmed, sad, or depressed because of stress, and only 16% felt that their stress level was on the decline as opposed to the last year. Children, of course, learn how to handle stress by watching their parents, so the more volatile, angry, disorganized, or withdrawn you are under tension, they will tend to follow suit. If you need alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to get you through tough times, so will they! Unrealistic expectations by parents is a big cause of stress, the study surmised. Everyone is proud of their kids (and like to tell others about it, too!), but we all have to realize that our children have their own DNA, genetic capabilities and psychological make-up. We can't expect them to act as we do as adults (with 55 years of ups and downs to drawn on!), or be an idealized version of what we wished we were as adolescents. Everyone needs to make their own mistakes, and forge their own path path through the dense forest of life. Things have changed, too. While middle-school gossips would always spread bad news around to your immediate universe, now they can literally do the same thing to the entire world, via any outlet on social media. Plus, the pressures of dating, finding a social group in which you feel comfortable, and figuring out your own self are as bad as we remember from our "Wonder Years!" Throw in hormonal imbalances, family financial pressures, and sleep deprivation that most teens suffer from, and it's surprising the number of stress-out teens isn't even higher! How to combat it? I feel exercise is the greatest stress reliever of all, but it doesn't have to be the competitive, "you gotta make the team!," type. A leisurely bike ride, hike through the woods, or walk with the dog are great to release some endorphins, in teens or adults. Meditation is also recommended in the study, as well as healthy eating (a tough task for teens!), and some downtime. I also feel it is good for teens to have one outside group or activity they belong to that involves kids from another town. That could be a dance school, religous group, scout pack, or anything else. Sometimes kids feel their world may be closing in at their school, and having an outside group gives a sense of perspective and another outlet to interact! No, it's not easy being a teen. As adults and parents, we have to do our best to help them paddle the boat forward, without actually doing the paddling ourselves. Easier said then done!